when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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