I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
