there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
