Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
