part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my being single is dangerous.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
