Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
