I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
