If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
