Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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