the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
