Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
