Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
