4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
