Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
