is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
