Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
worst night to have a conscience
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
