"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
