yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Say something about gay babies.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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