we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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