So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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