i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
