I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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