I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i think i just lost a toe
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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