I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize