question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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