Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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