Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
