Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
