I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
