is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
