put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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