I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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