no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
