So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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