he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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