I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
