Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
