some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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