i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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