his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
