I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
