ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
