That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
