Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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