Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize