Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
