All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
