I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
