My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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