im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
