About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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