So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
