When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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