I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
