Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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