I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
