good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
