A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
