please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
