just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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