Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
