An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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