The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize