Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
