SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
