Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I smell stomach acid.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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