Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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