She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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