I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
