Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
