I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize