I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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