I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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