i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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