Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
