went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
