Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
